Harry Dresden Edit

  • "Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face." ~ Storm Front[1]
  • I might not have any magic available to me, but that didn't make me any less of a wizard, one of the magi, the wise. That's the true power of a wizard. I know things. Knowledge is power. With power comes responsibility. That made the entire things pretty simple. ~ Fool Moon[2]
  • Mickey Mouse woke me up, my alarm jangling noisily. I wanted to smack the clock for waking me up, but I reigned in the impulse. I'm not against a little creative violence, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I wouldn't sleep in the same room with a person who would smack Mickey Mouse. ~ Death Masks[3]
  • Susan crouched down and look beneath it (the Blue Beetle) a couple of times, then said, "Okay.", Harry: "Thankyou 007, but no one bombs a Volkswagen. they're too cute.", Susan: "Cute confetti if you aren't careful, Harry" ~ Death Masks[4]
  • Harry: "I have a life, man. And my life isn't all about feuding demigods, and nations at war and solving a mystery before it kills me.", Tomas: "It's also about Mold Demons and flaming monkey poo?", H: "What can I say, I put the 'ick' in 'magic'." ~ Harry and Thomas ~ Blood Rites[5]
  • Bobby with a scowl: "Who the hell are you?", Harry: "I the hell am Harry.", Bobby: "You always a wiseass?", Harry: "No, sometimes I sleep." ~ Blood Rites[6]
  • I've learned over the years that ignorance was more than bliss, it was freaking orgasmic ecstasy. ~ Harry Dresden thinking about becoming aware to new horrors ~ Blood Rites[8]
  • "I'm glad you took the time to RSVP me. I have a problem that needs to stay on the QT, but it is rapidly going FUBAR. I'm sorry to call you LD through the AT&T instead of using UPS, but I needed your help ASAP. I hope that's OK." ~ Ebenezar grunted, shot me a sidelong look, and said, "Don't make me kick your ass." ~ Harry Dresden Blood Rites[8]
  • Man: "You know it wouldn't kill you to be a little more polite." ~ "Why take chances?" ~ Harry Dresden talking to a man at Murphy family reunion who's probably a cop and in the Murphy family. ~ Blood Rites[9]
  • Gard: "Hubris. Mortals never understand." ~ Harry: "Tell me about it. Everyone makes that mistake but me." Marcone: his eyes wrinkled at the corners. It was nearly a smile. ~ Dead Beat[10]
  • “We are not going to die." ~ Waldo Butters stared up at me, pale, his eyes terrified. "We're not?" ~ No. And do you know why?" He shook his head. "Because Thomas is too pretty to die. And because I'm too stubborn to die." I hauled on the shirt even harder. "And most of all because tomorrow is Oktoberfest, Butters, and polka will never die.” ~ Dead Beat[11]
  • THOMAS: "It's a hell of a risk.", HARRY: "Oh, no. a risk. Well, we wouldn't want that, now, would we?", THOMAS: "Nobody likes a wiseass, Harry." ~ Harry and Thomas while negotiating with Grevane. ~ Dead Beat[12]
  • "When you do something stupid and die, it's pathetic. When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic." ~ Harry Dresden to Carlos Ramirez on the back of Sue the Zombie T-Rex about to face down some powerful necromancers. ~ Dead Beat[13]
  • "Age is always advancing and I'm fairly certain it's up to no good." ~ Harry Dresden White Night[14]
  • "I like to stay cozy with my paranoia, not pass her around to my friends and family" ~ Harry to himself ~ Turn Coat[15]
  • "I want to be stepped on by an elephant, while having sex with identical triplet cheerleaders." ~ Harry Dresden. While discussing death with Joseph Listens-to-Wind. ~ Turn Coat[17]
  • Murphy: "I guess magic doesn't fix everything." ~ Harry: "Magic doesn't fix anything. That's what the person using it is for." ~ Turn Coat[18]
  • Like "love," "hope" is one of those ridiculously disproportional words that by all rights should be a lot longer. ~ Harry thinking to himself ~ Turn Coat[19]
  • Molly: "You're such a cynic.", Harry: "I think cynics are playful and cute." ~ Changes[20]
  • "I've heard it said that no plan survives first contact with the enemy. It's true." ~ Harry, Changes[21]
  • "There's a little irony in Eternal Silence being stuck on a looping sound bite." ~ Harry's Ghost at Gracland trying to communicate with Eternal Silence who keep repeating the same message that is so broad it desn't really say anything that Harry can do anything with: "You must understand your path, It is essential to survivial." ~ Ghost Story[22]
  • Thomas: "Don't you have more important things to be thinking about right now?", Harry: "I wonder about things. Life goes on, man. If I stop thinking about things just because some psycho or crew of psychos wants me dead, I'll never get to think about anything, will I?" ~ Cold Days[23]
  • "Like every other kind of pain, beatings are educational." ~ Harry Dresden Cold Days[24]

Ebenezar McCoy Edit

  • "Er...Hoss, you DO know what you just said, right?" ~ Ebenezar McCoy-to Harry Dresden, Summer Knight.
  • Harry: “Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some." Ebenezar: "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.” ― Blood Rites[8]
  • “There're things we keep hidden from one another. Things we hide from ourselves. Things that are kept hidden from us. And things no one knows. You always learn the damnedest things at the worst possible times.” ― Changes[25]
  • Talking about Cristos ~ Harry: "He's Black Council.", Eben: "Or, maybe stupid.", Harry: "Not sure which is scarier." Eben: "Stupid, Hoss. Every time. Only so many blackhearted villains in the world, and they only get uppity on orccasion. Stupid's everywhere, every day."[25]

Waldo ButtersEdit

[Butters is insisting that Harry tell him the truth about the world of magic and what was after him.] 
  • Harry: "It could force you to keep secrets that people would kill you for knowing. It could change the way you think and feel. It could really screw up you life." ~ Butters: "Screw up my life?" he stared at me for a second and then said, deadpan, "I'm a five-foot-three, thirty-seven year-old Jewish medical examiner who needs to pick up his lederhosen from the dry cleaners so that he can play in a one-man polka band at Oktoberfest tomorrow." He pushed up his glasses with his forefinger, folded his arms, and said, "Do you worst."[26]
  • The dashboard on Georgia Borden's SUV keeps repeating "The door is ajar" when every door is perfectly closed. (Harry's magic has it acting squirly after driving it all day.) Harry tells Kirby: "It won't shut up." Then Waldo Butters says brightly: "It gets sort of zen after a while. Life is a journey. Time is a river. The door is ajar."[27]

Bob the SkullEdit

  • Bob: "It's bad enough that I have to wake up, I have to wake up to bad puns." ~ in response to Harry saying: "Come on, lazybones." ~ Storm Front. It's the first thing Bob says in the series[28]
  • Harry wakes up Bob: "What's up boss?" ~ "Evil's afoot." ~ "Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now." ~ White Night[29]
  • Harry: "That's why I got you, clearly. Because I wanted a yes-man and you're so good for that.", Bob: "Hey, I'm just a mirror, boss. Not my fault you're ambivalent."[30]

Thomas RaithEdit

  • "In the Raith Household? Paranoia comes bottled, on tap and in hot and cold running neuroses." ~ Thomas to Harry about the Raith family. ~ Blood Rites[31]

Michael CarpenterEdit

  • "I'm no philosopher, Harry, but here's something for you to think about, at least. What goes around comes around. And sometimes you get what comes around. And, sometimes you are what's coming around." ~ Michael to Harry when Harry is worried about the reprecussions to his spirit for what he did with the fire at Bianca's Ball

Karrin MurphyEdit

  • "If Molly has a turkey baster, maybe we could water board him." ~ Karrin referring to Captain Hook[24]


  • "I don't make metaphors, Harry. I'm too busy being one" ~ Lea in Grave Peril[32]

Arthur Langtry (The Merlin)Edit

  • Harry: "It isn't as though I could make his (Morgan) case any worse.", Merlin: ""Oh, I'm not so certain. You have vast talents in that particular venue."[33]

William BordenEdit

  • "It's sort of pretty. In a Jaws kind of way." ~ William (Billy) Borden watching a group tiny fae devour a pizza[34]


  • "Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka" ~ Changes[35]
  • "As horrible fates go, that is a good one. Worthwhile. Save your little girl. If you turn into a horrible monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I possibly can, out of respect for you." ~ Changes[35]

Susan RodriguezEdit

  • Susan: "Your face looks like a sack of purple potatoes." ~ Susan to Harry after he was abducted and beaten by the Streetwolves at the Full Moon Garage, in Fool Moon. Response: "You say the sweetest things."[36]
  • Harry: "Wow that's a lot of art and money moving around, changing hands, being shipped hither and yon.", Susan:  "Hither, maybe, but I don't think UPS does yon." ~ Susan Rodriguez, Death Masks[37]


  1. Storm Front, ch. 1
  2. Fool Moon, ch. 24
  3. Death Masks, ch. 15
  4. Death Masks, ch. 27
  5. Blood Rites, ch. 1
  6. Blood Rites, ch. 7
  7. Blood Rites, ch. 24
  8. 8.0 8.1 8.2 Blood Rites, ch. 27
  9. Blood Rites, ch. 28
  10. Dead Beat, ch. 18
  11. Dead Beat, ch. 22
  12. Dead Beat, ch. 23
  13. Dead Beat, ch. 41
  14. White Night, ch. 1
  15. Turn Coat, ch. 08
  16. Turn Coat, ch. 10
  17. Turn Coat, ch. 15
  18. Turn Coat, ch. 30
  19. Turn Coat, ch. 33
  20. Changes, ch. 6
  21. Changes, ch. 42
  22. Ghost Story, ch. 14
  23. Cold Days, ch. 21
  24. 24.0 24.1 Cold Days, ch. 26
  25. 25.0 25.1 Changes, ch. 49
  26. Dead Beat, ch. 05
  27. Dead Beat, ch. 15
  28. Grave Peril, ch. 8
  29. White Night, ch. 14
  30. Cold Days, ch. 11
  31. Blood Rites, ch. 22
  32. Grave Peril, ch. 27
  33. Turn Coat, ch. 16
  34. Summer Knight, ch. 13
  35. 35.0 35.1 Changes, ch. 33
  36. Fool Moon, ch. 26
  37. Death Masks, ch. 16